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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28103904">with golden string</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/stan_jaskier/pseuds/stan_jaskier'>stan_jaskier</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>30歳まで童貞だと魔法使いになれるらしい | 30-sai Made Doutei da to Mahou Tsukai ni Nareru Rashii (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Established Relationship, First Time, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Porn with Feelings, and a tiny bit of angst, kind of</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 21:48:45</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>10,148</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28103904</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/stan_jaskier/pseuds/stan_jaskier</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Relationships, romance, sex.</p><p>It was a mortifying ordeal, in general. </p><p>But one that Adachi wanted to experience with Kurosawa, again and again, for the rest of his life.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Adachi Kiyoshi/Kurosawa Yuichi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>468</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>with golden string</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Please note that this is my first ever serious fic that was supposed to be about 2k words long but grew legs and ran an extra 8k, half of which is just smut. </p><p>All of that just to say that I Tried, and people helped me. </p><p>Specifically, mj (yourletters on tumblr), who cheered me on, even though I was a complete stranger, and kit (vandrell on tumblr and ao3) who not only cheered me on but also beta-ed my fic. They're wonderful people and the reason I'm here.</p><p>Another thing to note here is that the fic was written before ep 9 aired so there might be some canon divergences.</p><p>Well, that's all, hope you enjoy the fic!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>There were certain things to be said about dating someone as gentlemanly as Kurosawa.</p><p> </p><p>The first thing to mention was his attentiveness bordered on worshipful.</p><p> </p><p>Adachi didn’t know about dating beyond the few romance novels and movies he picked up, but even he could tell when someone was just too considerate.</p><p> </p><p>From waking up early to make lunch boxes for two to waiting patiently by his desk, even after his work has been long completed, to walk home together – the man will do it all. Each gesture of affection leaving Adachi flustered and stumbling over himself to return them.</p><p> </p><p>He could, honestly speaking, start describing Kurosawa’s actions to Tsuge, and his friend will think it’s one of the male leads from his stories. The gentle princely ones.</p><p> </p><p>(Granted, they don’t touch and trap each other in a constant stream of ethereal images of Kurosawa and Minato. Because sometimes you just had to mentally scream about your boyfriend to your best friend.)</p><p> </p><p>The second thing to bemoan about and (delight in, perhaps,) was Kurosawa’s sheer mushiness.</p><p> </p><p>The average person (i.e. most of the general population and Adachi before he became a mind-reader) will look at Kurosawa’s easy confidence and steady presence and write him off as someone serious and sensible. That person will be right, but not entirely.</p><p> </p><p>At least, not when it comes to romance and Kurosawa’s stance on it.</p><p> </p><p>That was where Kurosawa the Level-headed left the room and made way for Kurosawa the Mushy, who will, at length, depending on the time and place, wax poetic about Adachi’s bedhead and moles.</p><p> </p><p>The increasingly flustered object of said poetry learned to avoid direct contact during work hours. There were only so many times Adachi could cough back his sudden laugh before he got called out for being unprofessional. The pure awe Kurosawa expresses at his frankly ugly snort hadn’t helped the matters at all.</p><p> </p><p>And now, the last thing to make note of, Kurosawa’s iron-clad restraint.</p><p> </p><p>To be absolutely clear, Adachi has no true complaints about any of the aforementioned traits. Quite the opposite, he’s grateful for them.</p><p> </p><p>He’s sure that if it was anyone but Kurosawa, the whole ‘dating for the first time in his thirties’ experience would have been a lot more stressful. As it was, Kurosawa made each step they took together natural, easy.</p><p> </p><p>The man didn’t rush Adachi anywhere he wasn’t ready to go, patient as a saint with all the fumbling and the pausing. Their first kiss didn’t happen until well after a month they started dating, and it was a hesitant yet joyous thing— Kurosawa suffusing them both in elation and plain love, all while holding himself back from making any unnecessary movements and <em> being greedy </em>.</p><p> </p><p>And that was the crux of the problem, wasn’t it?</p><p> </p><p>Kurosawa always made it his personal mission to make Adachi as happy and comfortable as possible that his own desires became unimportant to him. Even in his most inner thoughts, the first priority was always Adachi. Perhaps that was what made Kurosawa such a perfect lover.</p><p> </p><p>But that wasn’t what Adachi wanted.</p><p> </p><p>Even before the magic, the love, it was the flaws that made something bloom in his chest. Kurosawa drunken, on the verge of tears, looking so defeated that Adachi forgot about his own reservations to offer comfort.</p><p> </p><p>Someone a bit more self-centered than Adachi might have been happy with Kurosawa’s single-minded focus on their happiness. Perhaps even flattered by the way the man will change all his plans and work around their dates so he could spend the entire time catering to them.</p><p> </p><p>As it was, Adachi was more frustrated than anything else.</p><p> </p><p>It was a comfort, right in the beginning, when Adachi was terrified of screwing over the first relationship he had with his inexperience. The way Kurosawa tamped down ruthlessly any thought and intent that might be disrespectful or distressing to Adachi had been a blanket of security then.</p><p> </p><p>Possessiveness, greed, <em> lust </em>. All cast aside the moment Adachi looked vaguely unhappy.</p><p> </p><p>It was admirable, it was so admirable that Adachi wanted to shake Kurosawa by his wonderful shoulders and ask him to stop and rest and just be.</p><p> </p><p>He wanted Kurosawa to forego the ever-running mantra of ‘Will Adachi be happy with this?’ in his head and change it to ‘Will I be happy with this?’ Be a bit more demanding, a bit more selfish, and a bit more greedy.</p><p> </p><p>So while Kurosawa made it his mission to give Adachi the moon on a plate, Adachi made it his mission to give Kurosawa the stars in a box.</p><p> </p><p>(Immediately following that declaration, Tsuge made it his business to write down something in his notebook. Adachi had a sneaking suspicion that the next novel his friend wrote would have characters eerily similar to them but the author wasn’t going to confirm anything.)</p><p> </p><p>-.-.-</p><p> </p><p>The chance to give Kurosawa his first star came during a company outing.</p><p> </p><p>Actually, that was a lie. Adachi had many chances before that. It was just then that he finally worked up the courage to do it.</p><p> </p><p>He knew the things Kurosawa wanted and didn’t ask for. With the ability to read minds, that was easy enough to do. A pat to the back, an arm around his shoulders, and Adachi will get a PowerPoint presentation of Kurosawa’s fantasies with angelic chords running in the background.</p><p> </p><p>The hard part came in actually fulfilling those fantasies.</p><p> </p><p>Whenever he tried to be the one to initiate anything, be the one to first cross a relationship milestone, he’d freeze. And Kurosawa wouldn’t even say anything, content to wait for things that might never come.</p><p> </p><p>Perhaps that was the worst part, the carefully maintained contentment, the smile on Kurosawa’s face that didn’t shine through all the way. The man was the sun personified and it didn’t seem fair for Adachi to dim him, in any way.</p><p> </p><p>That, more than anything, motivated Adachi to finally gather up his resolve and grab hold of any opportunity to make Kurosawa <em> shine </em>. If the chance happened to be at a convenience store after being sent to run an errand and bring something savory to the drinking table? So be it.</p><p> </p><p>The lady at the counter likely did not ask for this, so Adachi was apologizing to her in his head in advance. Sitting with one earbud in and idly listing through a magazine off the shelf, she likely expected a peaceful night at her store. </p><p> </p><p>But she was there and Adachi needed a stranger for this.</p><p> </p><p>Basking in the tiny barely held back smile his boyfriend wore, happy as always to be alone with Adachi, he added a few more things to their cart. Limited edition snacks. It didn’t escape Kurosawa’s attention, of course. The man was as observant as a hawk when he wanted to be.</p><p> </p><p>He didn’t comment on the extra things though. Just winked at Adachi, eyes glimmering and mischievous.</p><p> </p><p>Now usually that particular look would have had Adachi looking down and trying his best to keep a neutral expression, so delighted that he was by his boyfriend’s dorky nature. This time, however, he went for more, daring to be bold. </p><p> </p><p>He winked back.</p><p> </p><p>Or tried to. Adachi wasn’t the type to tease and play around so he couldn’t be sure if his eyes cooperated there. Still, the intent was there, and Kurosawa got it, looking momentarily gobsmacked.</p><p> </p><p>Striking while the iron was hot, Adachi also reached out with his free hand and grasped Kurosawa’s. Now there was a blush, of all things, and with it also came a voice so jumbled and so loud that no one would think it belonged to the ever steadfast Kurosawa.</p><p> </p><p>But it did, and it was taking a lot out of Adachi to keep his resolve in the face of it.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> ‘He winked back? He winked back! Is that going to be a thing for us? A couple Thing?!’ </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> ‘Adachi? That was so cute?? And unfair! You can’t weaponize your cuteness like that!’ </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> ‘Ah, he’s holding my hand! He did it first! In public too! Wait—‘ </em>
</p><p> </p><p>And there it was.</p><p> </p><p>‘<em> The lady at the counter, she’ll see us, is he okay with this?’ </em></p><p> </p><p>The unfailing concern, not for himself, but for Adachi.</p><p> </p><p>To communicate that he was more than okay with it, he dragged his boyfriend from one aisle to the other, from snacks to drinks, in clear view of the one manning the store. Two men holding a basket of food with one hand and each other with the other was anything but subtle. It didn’t slip notice.</p><p> </p><p>The woman looked more alert, trying and failing to peek at them discreetly over her magazine.</p><p> </p><p>And even though he felt a lot like running and hiding, Adachi stubbornly refused to let go of Kurosawa’s hands unless he absolutely had to. That was to say, to pick up more sweet treats for them. He also did his best to ignore the silent-if-you-have-no-telepathic-abilities breakdown running its course with Kurosawa. </p><p> </p><p>The constant commentary switching between ‘<em> I can’t believe this is happening </em> ’ and ‘ <em> This is the best day ever </em>’ gave Adachi enough courage to walk up to the counter with steady steps.</p><p> </p><p>He put down his basket and Kurosawa followed suit. The lady didn’t bother asking if they wanted to pay separately and just started ringing the products. The total was 3200 yen.</p><p> </p><p>And before Kurosawa could even think of going for his wallet, Adachi piped up.</p><p> </p><p>“Please ignore my boyfriend, it’s my turn to pay.”</p><p> </p><p>A completely coherent sentence with no cracks or pauses. Natural. The times Adachi spent before his mirror practicing these very words paid off, he’d say. The way Kurosawa went completely silent in his head suggested an incoming torrent of emotions, so he gently pried his hand off his boyfriend’s and tried to pay as quickly as possible.</p><p> </p><p>There was a brush of hands when he transferred the money and a fleeting thought of ‘<em> Now if only my wife was this agreeable, that grump </em>.’</p><p> </p><p>Adachi, barely holding back his snort, picked up his portion of bags. He nudged Kurosawa with his shoulder to knock him out of his daze, and there it was. The incandescent joy, the burning star. The growing desire.</p><p> </p><p>‘<em> Ah, is it bad to ask for more? I want to kiss him. </em>’</p><p> </p><p>And so Adachi did, making a quick stop in between the alleys, under the cover of the shadows.</p><p> </p><p>He will admit to no one, not even Tsuge, but he loved the way Kurosawa all but melted under his lips then.</p><p> </p><p>-.-.-</p><p> </p><p>It was like the floodgates opened that day.</p><p> </p><p>Somehow, being the one <em> to </em> tease instead of being the one teased gave Adachi a boost of confidence that surprised even him. There was something to be said about the sight of someone he admired fumbling that emboldened Adachi like nothing else.</p><p> </p><p>Kurosawa was, to Adachi’s endless delight, someone who could dish out the mushiest of words like it was nothing but crumpled like wet paper the moment he got one back. Somehow, Adachi expected his boyfriend to be graceful in back-and-forth flirting but apparently, it wasn’t so.</p><p> </p><p>He should know better than to assume anything at this point.</p><p> </p><p>If Adachi had been bracing himself for even more shameless flirting, now he was thinking of ways of coaxing his boyfriend back to the land of the coherent. One genuine compliment on Kurosawa’s attentiveness and an unexpected kiss, and the man will suddenly lose his famed eloquence and turn adorably shy. </p><p> </p><p>Hugs worked, he found.</p><p> </p><p>Adachi loved it the most when Kurosawa hugged him and hid his face in his neck.</p><p> </p><p>Though he couldn’t see his blinding smile, he could still feel the warmth, the breath, and hear the inner voice that gushed not unlike a school girl about her favorite senior. Overwhelmed, happy, and seeking closeness. Exactly how Adachi felt any time Kurosawa was being extra Kurosawa.</p><p> </p><p>Having someone essentially using you as a security blanket could be surprisingly cathartic. At least, for Adachi, it was. He thrived in helping others and taking care of the people he cared about.</p><p> </p><p>Acts of service, Tsuge had said.</p><p> </p><p>The language of love that Adachi and Kurosawa were most fluent in, apparently. He wanted to say ‘I love you’ like that many times, countless times—and he will, he swore. But Kurosawa deserved more, deserved to hear each version of ‘I love you’, all day and every day.</p><p> </p><p>So Adachi regularly dragged his boyfriend into almost-cuddling sessions, handed him a bucket’s worth of snacks he spent the better part of the day picking out, and put on a movie they both wanted to see.</p><p> </p><p>It turned into regular movie nights in the end, and they were a blessing, for both of them.</p><p> </p><p>Alternating between their homes on Sundays, preparing things to try out, be it to eat or to watch, and finding that many of their choices turned out to be the same anyway. The first few nights, there had been a respectable distance between them, their touches scarce and fleeting, Kurosawa always marveling at the domesticity of it all.</p><p> </p><p>By now, it was the norm for them to practically glue themselves to each other’s sides and run a commentary on anything they watched, breaking it up with talks about each other when the movie paused or ended.</p><p> </p><p>Today was the day Adachi planned to go a lot further than that though. When Kurosawa—gentle and soft in his home clothes, looking so beautiful it hurt—went to sit beside his boyfriend on the couch, as usual, Adachi grasped him by his waist and eased him into another seat. His lap.</p><p> </p><p>Kurosawa went, too disbelieving to question the change.</p><p> </p><p>He didn’t comment on Adachi’s fidgety hands and the nervous rambling that started the moment the movie began. Almost mechanically, he pulled up the softest blanket he owned and covered the two of them with it.</p><p> </p><p>As if the covering uncovered some part of Kurosawa, almost immediately, his own mental version of rambling started. An almost hysterical mantra of ‘<em> I like him, I love him, so much </em>.’</p><p> </p><p>Adachi almost sighed in relief then, snuggling closer to Kurosawa. The man was a solid weight on him, heavy in the best way. Surprising absolutely no one, Kurosawa was even more perfect up close. Well-built, but soft to touch and to sight.</p><p> </p><p>Just when Adachi found the optimal spot to rest his head—against Kurosawa’s, his hair tickling his cheek, and his scent blanketing his nose—the mantra of love changed into something desperate. Something Adachi was learning to hate.</p><p> </p><p>‘<em> I love him, I want him, I can’t lose him, it’d break me, I can’t let him leave me.’ </em></p><p> </p><p>The genuine fear of it twisted Adachi’s heart, building up unease and something approaching fury in his gut. What was it that made Kurosawa, <em> wonderful and lovely and kind Kurosawa </em>, so terrified of being abandoned? Adachi didn’t know and wasn’t sure if he wanted to.</p><p> </p><p>He just hugged Kurosawa closer, tighter, and delivered the words he’d been shaping in his heart.</p><p> </p><p>“I love you. Very much.”</p><p> </p><p>A mere whisper but one that came down like a hammer on an anvil. Kurosawa stilled, and then sprung into motion, almost falling over himself in the blanket. He stood before Adachi in seconds, holding his face with gentle hands, staring at him with burning eyes.</p><p> </p><p>Adachi almost looked away but his love looked fragile. Even towering over him, he looked fragile. He needed to be bold here. Perhaps not to erase the fear completely, then at least to take away some of it.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you sure?”</p><p> </p><p>An out.</p><p> </p><p>This perfect dumb man.</p><p> </p><p>“Absolutely.”</p><p> </p><p>This time his voice was loud and clear. Adachi loved Kurosawa, loved him with an intensity that terrified him sometimes, so unused he was to romance. But he wasn’t the only one scared, was he?</p><p> </p><p>Grasping the hands that did so much for Adachi, even when he was completely blind to it, he put them on his shoulder and circled his arms around Kurosawa. He clung to Kurosawa with everything he had, and Kurosawa clung back.</p><p> </p><p>The mantra was back but this time it was a wondrous thing.</p><p> </p><p>‘<em> He loves me, he loves me, he loves me! Oh, how could I be so lucky?’ </em></p><p> </p><p><em> ‘Seven years of waiting would have been a breeze, if I knew I was waiting for this </em>.’</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> ‘Knowing what to say and when to say it, my Adachi is so perceptive, so attentive.’ </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Oh, but Adachi wasn’t.</p><p> </p><p>-.-.-</p><p> </p><p>Adachi was anything but wonderful.</p><p> </p><p>He had been a coward and a fraud, using his magic without shame, always telling himself that <em> he wasn’t hurting anyone, no, the opposite, he was helping </em>. But that was a lie, wasn’t it? A comfortable and beautiful lie, an absolution of guilt.</p><p> </p><p>Perhaps, if things went as they did, Adachi would have carried all of it to his grave. But things changed the day Adachi heard ‘<em> Seven years </em> <em> ’ </em> and realized what an <em> awful man </em> he truly was <em> . </em></p><p> </p><p>Here was Kurosawa, dedicating the better part of a decade to Adachi, wasting the prime years of his life on a love that was, for all intents and purposes, hopeless. And then, when it wasn’t so hopeless anymore, all but surrendering himself, trusting Adachi to be good to him.</p><p> </p><p>And here was Adachi, taking that trust, that love, and trampling all over them with his intrusive magic. Honestly, was it even magic? It felt like a curse, meant to infringe on a person’s right to their own mind.</p><p> </p><p>No matter the distinction, Kurosawa deserved the truth. That was the most important thing.</p><p> </p><p>He needed to remember that.</p><p> </p><p>And so, feeling sick to his core, Adachi had invited Kurosawa over to his place during work and prepared himself for the worst. He wasn’t springing something this heavy on the man in his own home and he wasn’t going to stop Kurosawa from leaving if he wanted to.</p><p> </p><p>The usual sound of his boyfriend knocking on his door in a small drumbeat would have made him smile, usually, but today Adachi just wanted to cry.</p><p> </p><p>He opened the door with clammy hands and watched with some distant clawing fondness the moment Kurosawa realized that Adachi wasn’t well and started to crowd him in. He moved to touch him, and the way Adachi flinched would have been funny if it wasn’t so hurtful.</p><p> </p><p>“We need to talk,” Adachi said. </p><p> </p><p>Kurosawa smiled, unease evident in the tense lines of his mouth and the way he gripped his work bag. He’d come immediately to see him then. </p><p> </p><p>“Don’t look so serious now, Adachi. You’re making me think we’re breaking up now,” he said jokingly.</p><p> </p><p>“We could,” was Adachi’s unsure answer, and that was enough for Kurosawa to let his bag drop and grip Adachi by his shoulders in panic. And in that one instance, Adachi could dig his own unwelcome fingers into the vulnerable core of Kurosawa.</p><p> </p><p>‘<em> Did I do something wrong? What line did I cross? Was I too much? Not enough? </em>’</p><p> </p><p>Adachi hated himself for it, for all the hurt he caused and kept causing. And before Kurosawa could open his mouth, he decided to let it all out in the open.</p><p> </p><p>“You did absolutely nothing wrong, you didn’t cross any lines, you were never too much or not enough.”</p><p> </p><p>One might have been luck, two perhaps a coincidence. But three, four unvoiced questions, answered? Just like that? Magic, curse.</p><p> </p><p>Even without his mind-reading ability, Adachi could see Kurosawa stop and ask himself if he said all of that out loud. </p><p> </p><p>“No, you didn’t say any of that out loud. I need you to — I need you to listen to me. And don’t touch me, please.” <em> Not until you know everything that comes with touching me. </em></p><p> </p><p>Never to do anything against Adachi’s wishes, Kurosawa let go.</p><p> </p><p>The small space of Adachi’s home used to give off a feeling of intimacy whenever Kurosawa came around to spend the night, but right then it felt downright suffocating. Still, suffocating or not, Adachi gave Kurosawa the full story, halting at times but never omitting anything concerning his touch.</p><p> </p><p>Each time Kurosawa and Rokkaku thought he was an unusually perceptive man, revealed for the whims of magic they were.</p><p> </p><p>By the time Adachi finished talking, his throat, rarely used as it was, was sore, and whatever sparks of hope he might have harbored dwindled to nothing. Kurosawa had said nothing.</p><p> </p><p>“And so, I’d understand it if you wanted nothing to do with me now.” </p><p> </p><p>Yes, he’d understand it, knowing more than anyone else that it was his cowardice that drove them to this point. Tsuge might have said that their magic gave them as much fault as the color of their hair and eyes. But the secret, the silence, that was all on him.</p><p> </p><p>Could he bear it though? Adachi wasn’t sure.</p><p> </p><p>He couldn’t bear to look at Kurosawa, that was for certain. He forgot, with all the touches between them, just how much control the man had over his body, his behavior. The face Adachi had come to love for its bright smiles and crow feet was as blank as it could be.</p><p> </p><p>Staring at his hands on his lap, Adachi realized that he might have to live with this kind of distance between them from then on. Him, the boring salaryman destined to be lonely for the rest of his life because no one, <em> no one </em>, would ever measure up to Kurosawa and his big heart. Something small broke in his chest at the thought.</p><p> </p><p>He didn’t even realize he was crying until Kurosawa swept him in a hug. The hug was perfect, as always, warm and enveloping, but what really made it perfect was the inner voice that came with it, both louder and gentler than it ever was. </p><p> </p><p>Kurosawa touched him. Kurosawa <em> knew, </em> and he still touched him.</p><p> </p><p>Adachi didn’t lose him, Adachi still had him<em> , </em>the love of his life.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> ‘Oh, sweetheart, can you hear me? I’m sorry, I scared you silly. Oh, don’t cry, it’s okay.’ </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> ‘I just needed a little bit of time, okay? To process it, to get used to it, that’s all.’ </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> ‘I need some distance but we’re not done, do you hear me, Adachi? You’re okay.’ </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> ‘We’re okay.’ </em>
</p><p> </p><p>-.-.-</p><p> </p><p>Curious how people don’t realize how heavy secrets are until they’re gone. </p><p> </p><p>Adachi had been so focused on keeping Kurosawa happy that he didn’t dare to dwell on things outside of it. Namely, the wall he had put up between himself and everyone else. Except for Tsuge who suffered the same fate as him, he didn’t dare to touch anyone carelessly.</p><p> </p><p>But now, Kurosawa knew.</p><p> </p><p>And even though there was a distance between them that wasn’t there before, there was no wall. Kurosawa could see him, fully, and if he wished to, he could touch him. There would be no illusions, and Adachi would lap up any touch.</p><p> </p><p>His love had been terribly embarrassed to find out his carefully-maintained image of a pristine and smooth guy was shot from the get-go. For a perfectionist who paid careful attention to the way others viewed him, Adachi’s ability was unsettling.</p><p> </p><p>He promised that he’d get used to it since it was only touch-based. He still had his privacy, just not as much as he used to have. A little distance would do them good.</p><p> </p><p>Adachi nodded along, too relieved to question anything. Kurosawa could ask him to wait ten years and he will. He fully expected to be alone most of his life anyway. The fact that Kurosawa gave them another chance after finding out everything would always breathe life into Adachi.</p><p> </p><p>So they started experimenting with Adachi’s magic. Step by step, as Kurosawa said.</p><p> </p><p>The experiments mostly consisted of Kurosawa touching Adachi and projecting words or images at him until Adachi gave him a verbal response. Perhaps it would look surreal to any outsider, the way Kurosawa would tap Adachi on his shoulder and get a completely out of the blue comment. But it worked for them.</p><p> </p><p>It delighted them, actually.</p><p> </p><p>A hand around his back and an image of a cute cat Kurosawa saw the day before, a brush of fingers against his and a whisper of ‘<em> You’re lovely today as well </em>.’ Each contact delivered Adachi something nice and heart-fluttering.</p><p> </p><p>Kurosawa had turned it into a game when he realized that at any given time Adachi was being a mess, the cause would most likely be him.</p><p> </p><p>It was one thing to catch a stray hilarious thought his boyfriend had when he was unsuspecting and another thing entirely when it was done deliberately. It worked better than any text message, and so Adachi was smiling almost the entire day at work.</p><p> </p><p>Urabe had not let him be, still hounding him for a picture of his ‘girlfriend.’ (Though he certainly mellowed out after Fujisaki dragged him somewhere that one time.)</p><p> </p><p>After a month of their game, Kurosawa gave their movie night/cuddle session the green light again, and Adachi almost cried when he read the text message. </p><p> </p><p>He spent the better part of the day planning his outfit and picking out the gifts he could bring to Kurosawa’s place. Though in the end, he didn’t choose anything special. Things weren’t only about impressing each other anymore.</p><p> </p><p>It was about familiarity and comfort.</p><p> </p><p>Kurosawa must have had the same idea because their night started just like any other. The biggest difference was perhaps the extra sensitivity they had with touch and the careful way Kurosawa thought of nothing but the movie they were going to watch. There was something he was holding back.</p><p> </p><p>Adachi gave himself a second to be sad about it before moving on. </p><p> </p><p>While he missed the pure unfiltered thoughts his boyfriend used to project at him, this was fine too. Kurosawa was a loving man through and through. Adachi had never felt unwanted in his presence. Whatever it was that Kurosawa hid, Adachi could live without knowing about it.</p><p> </p><p>He trusted the man, with his heart and his life. He’d never do anything to hurt him.</p><p> </p><p>Finding comfort in the thought, he burrowed deeper into the couch and resolved to pay more attention to the story unfolding on the TV. The main character had just seen his love interest walk home with another man. </p><p> </p><p>He wondered if the man was actually a lover or a brother. That was a common trope apparently.</p><p> </p><p>There was a shift on Kurosawa’s side of the couch, and suddenly Adachi was being lifted, white fluffy blanket and all, and deposited on his boyfriend’s lap. Before he could turn around and look, two unfairly strong arms hugged him from behind, effectively trapping him in a blanket roll.</p><p> </p><p>This was perhaps the most contact they had since the reveal. While Adachi squirmed to get comfortable, he eventually settled, making a few token protests at being compared to a harp seal pup. </p><p> </p><p>There were suspiciously well-constructed thoughts on the movie’s plot from his boyfriend. Curiously, it got quieter or louder depending on how much Adachi moved. It was when the protagonist of the movie went bright red in the face after his lover fell on his lap that Adachi finally got the clue.</p><p> </p><p>“Kurosawa, are you— are you trying to not think of anything sexy?” he blurted out.</p><p> </p><p>A moment of complete and utter stillness, and then a flash of images that Kurosawa hurriedly tamped down. Adachi didn’t get the full picture but he got an impression of heat and urgency, of Kurosawa and Adachi, intertwined and rocking together.</p><p> </p><p>A long and awkward beat. </p><p> </p><p>Followed by a guilty <em> ‘Yes, and it looks like I failed </em>.’</p><p> </p><p>Kurosawa unwound his arms from around Adachi and tried to move away. Adachi didn’t let him, and with a growing blush, continued to sit on his lap. It looked like he needed to clarify something here too.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s fine, it’s fine! I’m okay with it,” he hurried to explain.</p><p> </p><p>And truly, Adachi was more than okay with it. If it was anyone but Kurosawa, he might have found the thought of sex discomforting and maybe even distressing. As it was, the flashes of the sexual fantasies he got from his boyfriend only served to excite him.</p><p> </p><p>He trusted Kurosawa to make everything feel good.</p><p> </p><p>“Truly? You’re not just saying that?” the man asked, no doubt worrying about Adachi’s tendency to endure hardship for others. Adachi empathetically shook his head.</p><p> </p><p>“If it’s okay with you,” Adachi began, voice a pitch or two higher than usual. He paused, cleared his throat, and then tried again. </p><p> </p><p>“If it’s okay with you, I want you to show me that again,” he said, starting firm and steady and going quieter and quieter until the last part was whispered. He was immensely glad they weren’t facing each other then.</p><p> </p><p>Now Kurosawa was a smart man, one that paid great attention to every detail, every shift. That was how he got to be so popular with his coworkers and clients, and that was how he got exactly what his boyfriend meant.</p><p> </p><p>Still, sweetheart of the office or not, the man was a bit mean when he wanted to be.</p><p> </p><p>“Show you what, Adachi?”</p><p> </p><p>-.-.-</p><p> </p><p>That particular movie night had been very enlightening. In more ways than one.</p><p> </p><p>Apparently, after a few sleepless nights of reviewing and reevaluating all his interactions with Adachi, Kurosawa found that he didn’t mind Adachi’s powers as much as he could have.</p><p> </p><p>He was, to be truthful, very relieved to know that his boyfriend saw him for the dorky disaster he was sometimes and still thought him worth loving. He was fine with being seen and known by Adachi on a deeper level than everyone else.</p><p> </p><p>The problem was something else.</p><p> </p><p>By avoiding touch, Kurosawa had been doing his best not to fixate on anything that might be too much for Adachi. Which had been easier when he didn’t know his partner was telepathic. As it was, the more he tried to dismiss certain thoughts, the more they started popping up.</p><p> </p><p>Trying not to think about it, and you’re already thinking about it. The paradox of repression.</p><p> </p><p>Adachi didn’t want Kurosawa to be so cautious with his own thoughts. He was already so attentive already. The man should be able to think of whatever he wanted, without having to take Adachi into consideration. When he told Kurosawa so, he raised a point that Adachi should have probably considered beforehand.</p><p> </p><p>It wasn’t like Adachi could control his ability either.</p><p> </p><p>They were both equally clueless in this regard. So after a bit of trial and error, they settled on avoiding touch if any of them were uncomfortable with their connection. Both of them could initiate and break contact as they saw fit, and no questions will be asked afterward. </p><p> </p><p>Verbal confirmation that things were okay was also good.</p><p> </p><p>This was especially important for Kurosawa. The man tended to overthink everything they did. Adachi understood that he wanted all their first times to be perfect, but they didn’t need to be.</p><p> </p><p>Adachi didn’t want perfect. He wanted good. The kind of good where your partner knew you liked your omelettes sweet and prepared them that way. And as long as they did something together, be it a success or a failure, it’d be good.</p><p> </p><p>“You, being greedy. I want you to show me that,” Adachi had said then, nervous but finally putting things into words. And before Kurosawa could drawback and be the perfect gentleman again, he dropped something he’d wanted to for a while.</p><p> </p><p>“Yuichi, please.”</p><p> </p><p>For his troubles, Adachi got hit by a jolt of pure lust and a desperate voice, <em> his voice </em>, that practically mewled the name. Well, never let anyone tell Kurosawa that he didn’t have a very reactive imagination.</p><p> </p><p><em> ‘Is that really okay? Won’t it be too much?’ </em> A pause. <em> ‘Kiyoshi?’ </em>Fair, he supposed.</p><p> </p><p>“If it’s too much, I’ll tell you, or just stop touching you,” he reassured him. That seemed to settle his boyfriend.</p><p> </p><p>It was a while before Kurosawa—<em> Yuichi </em>, the man he dated, the one he loved, Yuichi— finally let himself melt and offered a myriad of his desires for Adachi to see. Needless to say, Adachi surprised himself by liking most of them.</p><p> </p><p>And he told Kurosawa so.</p><p> </p><p>For a while, they got stuck in a bit of a loop where Kurosawa showed something tame, got a confirmation that Adachi liked what he saw, got excited, and showed something wilder.</p><p> </p><p>There was a fantasy of hour-long kisses and moans swallowed between them. Another where Kurosawa mapped the entirety of Adachi with his mouth, leaving behind marks of teeth and lips from neck to ankle. More where he got to explore Adachi from the inside, with his fingers, his tongue, and his cock, drawing out a broken ‘<em> Yuichi </em>’ each time. A few where Adachi was the one who topped and set the pace, whispering words of praise for his love.</p><p> </p><p>And on and on until Adachi could say, with confidence, he knew just what to expect from sex with a man.</p><p> </p><p>It was, in a way, a very open porn-watching session with your partner, if you ignored the fact that all the actors in the porn looked identical to you. And found out that perhaps you were as kinky as your partner.</p><p> </p><p>An eye-opening night, for sure.</p><p> </p><p>By the end of it, they each had to excuse themselves to the bathroom at different times and pretend very politely that they didn’t just jerk off with nothing but a wall separating them.</p><p> </p><p>Things got simultaneously easier and harder afterward.</p><p> </p><p>Easier, because in all fairness, sex used to discomfort Adachi. Interactions with people in a romantic setting in general used to be scary to think of. Any time he considered putting himself out there, as a lover, he thought of the judgment that came with it.</p><p> </p><p>The thought was enough to get him anxious and tongue-tied around anyone he might have been interested in before. The mortifying ordeal of being known, as it were.</p><p> </p><p>But he got through a few of it with Kurosawa. He got to know what it was like to reach out to someone and expect, with full certainty, that he’d be met halfway. The intimacy of it never failed to warm him from the core. He wanted the warmth to accompany him whenever and wherever.</p><p> </p><p>With Kurosawa, there was no fear, only anticipation.</p><p> </p><p>But that was where things got harder. With no fear to moderate him, Adachi was quickly finding out just what it meant to desire someone to the point of constant distraction. He always thought that romance novels used to exaggerate the power of attraction and the stupid things it could make people do. </p><p> </p><p>But all fictional things took root in reality somewhere, didn’t they?</p><p> </p><p>Adachi had, surprising both Kurosawa and himself, dragged his boyfriend into an empty room for a make-out session during work. Granted, it was lunch and they locked the door so they wouldn’t have been caught. But still, the memory of it was enough to make Adachi want to curl up into a small invisible ball.</p><p> </p><p>At the time, there wasn’t much on Adachi’s mind except the fact that the AC breaking down on their floor was a blessing because Kurosawa with his shirt sleeves pushed back and finishing a bottle of cold water in one breath was unfairly attractive.</p><p> </p><p>He was powerless against the desire he felt then.</p><p> </p><p>Alone, the way they each tried to gently devour the other had left them both breathless and elated. Not to mention the way Kurosawa kept breaking their kiss to peck at the mole near Adachi’s mouth and making him laugh. It was wonderful.</p><p> </p><p>When they left the room, Adachi thanked all his lucky stars that it was a hot day out and everyone was looking a little bit unkempt without the mercy of the AC.</p><p> </p><p>Kurosawa on the other hand had looked like he was having the time of his life after the impromptu make-out session, more cheerful and energetic than even Rokkaku. Urabe had complained to Adachi about the unfairness of handsome men with boundless energy, but Adachi <em> knew </em> and wanted the floor to swallow him.</p><p> </p><p>Relationships, romance, sex.</p><p> </p><p>It was a mortifying ordeal, in general. </p><p> </p><p>But one that Adachi wanted to experience with Kurosawa, again and again, for the rest of his life.</p><p> </p><p>-.-.-</p><p> </p><p>It was official.</p><p> </p><p>Adachi loved each part of Kurosawa, from his blinding soft smiles to his hidden mean streak. The man was the best thing to happen to him, a splash of gold and light against the grey background of his life. Dating for only half a year or not, legal in his country or not, if he could, he’d marry him.</p><p> </p><p>And he was pretty sure if he asked Kurosawa, the answer would be yes. </p><p> </p><p>But that could come later, they had the time to wait. What was more pressing was their six-month anniversary. Though they had decided to celebrate their anniversaries by the year and not the month, Adachi didn’t think there was anything wrong with small gifts every now and then.</p><p> </p><p>Or, well, making the day a bit more memorable.</p><p> </p><p>When Kurosawa came over to his place with a bag of no doubt quality products for a nice dinner, Adachi was sitting on his bed in nothing but a shirt and boxers.</p><p> </p><p>The shirt was not his.</p><p> </p><p>It was a soft worn-out thing that looked perfectly fit on Kurosawa and much bigger on Adachi. He would have felt a bit foolish if he didn’t know for a fact just how much his boyfriend loved seeing him in his clothes. </p><p> </p><p>There were quite a few fantasies Kurosawa had where Adachi wore nothing but whatever he bought or owned.</p><p> </p><p>So mostly he felt a bit chilly and nervous. </p><p> </p><p>The small space of his apartment meant that while it warmed up quickly when the cold set in, it set in deep. Kurosawa standing like a startled deer at his door was adorable but still.</p><p> </p><p>“Close the door, please.”</p><p> </p><p>An almost mechanical movement, followed by the sound of his door lock clicking into place. Kurosawa’s wide eyes never strayed from his form, as if a second of inattention will make him disappear. Adachi found that he liked that.</p><p> </p><p>Kurosawa always did make him feel beautiful.</p><p> </p><p>“Put your bag on the table and come to me?”</p><p> </p><p>Kurosawa scrambled to obey him, the bag unceremoniously dumped, and what little space they had between them gone in seconds. Having his love so close, fully clothed and towering, while Adachi sat primly with so much of him on display, made anticipation an almost tangible thing.</p><p> </p><p>There was a distant part of Adachi that noted how a mere year ago, the current situation would have made him flail around in panic. Him, the one to initiate what was essentially seduction? Incomprehensible.</p><p> </p><p>As it was, most of his attention was on Kurosawa and how he responded to him.</p><p> </p><p>When he reached out, he was, as always, met halfway. With Kurosawa bending down and Adachi standing on his knees, their kiss was a deep slow thing. </p><p> </p><p>Kurosawa who just came from outside was a bit cold to touch and smelled like the night. But the way the man was locking him in his embrace was quickly turning that freshness into something molten.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> ‘Ah, Kiyoshi, you’re out to get me, aren’t you?’ </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> ‘Waiting for me with nothing but my shirt on, that’s cheating.’ </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> ‘God, I could keep you like this forever.’ </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Adachi too could keep Kurosawa like this forever, but he didn’t think their necks would thank them for it.</p><p> </p><p>Breaking their kiss, he wrapped his hands tighter around Kurosawa and let himself fall backward. His love followed him, propping himself up by his hands so he could lay them both on the bed gently and settling between Adachi’s legs. </p><p> </p><p>It was a mimicry of the time when Kurosawa first tripped and almost fell on him. The man didn’t let himself cover Adachi’s body with his own then, ever so respectable and considerate of his sick colleague.</p><p> </p><p>But he did now, letting his weight blanket Adachi and trap him between himself and the bed. His whole body a line of scorching warmth and familiar comfort.</p><p> </p><p>Just like that, surrounded by everything Kurosawa, his scent, his body, his breath, Adachi felt heady and buoyed. He clung to his love, burrowing his face into his neck— letting himself take in the closeness for a moment, imagining that perhaps their loud heartbeats synced.</p><p> </p><p>Then, he went for Kurosawa’s neck, biting down gently and sucking. He felt the man shudder above him and had only a second to be delighted about it before Kurosawa thought— </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> ‘Love, I can bite too.’ </em>
</p><p> </p><p>And he really did, lavishing Adachi’s jaw and neck with his lips and teeth, paying extra attention to his moles. Adachi could do nothing but laugh breathlessly at the elation Kurosawa expressed when he <em> ‘finally got to the mole on his nape!’ </em></p><p> </p><p>This too was something they could do forever, but Adachi had a goal in mind. </p><p> </p><p>Before he could (very happily) lose himself further to his boyfriend’s clever mouth, Adachi gave Kurosawa a few gentle pushes until he got the hint and pulled back.</p><p> </p><p>With some space between them, they each took a moment to breathe and admire their work on each other. Then Kurosawa flashed Adachi his signature blinding grin, made even more blinding by the room light acting as a halo behind him, and tried to get up.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> ‘Well, after that, I definitely have to make a great dinner.’ </em>
</p><p> </p><p>But before the man could move off the bed, Adachi wrapped his legs around his waist and stopped him. Kurosawa’s gaze darkened momentarily and Adachi was hit with an impression of his boyfriend holding onto pale thighs, digging his fingers to leave a red mark, rocking into wet heat and <em> that— </em> that was the goal.</p><p> </p><p>With a burning face, Adachi tugged on Kurosawa’s jacket.</p><p> </p><p>“Clothes off, please?” he asked.</p><p> </p><p>Kurosawa’s eyes widened in surprise. Then they gave away to something giddy and hungry in a blink. Giving Adachi a slow smile, he started unbuttoning his jacket.</p><p> </p><p><em> ‘Oh so we’re not done?’ </em> he inquired, just to be sure, taking off his jacket completely when Adachi nodded and dropping it somewhere behind him. Next was his shirt, given the same treatment as his jacket. He moved his hands to his belt and then paused.</p><p> </p><p>Out loud, he asked, “How far are we going, Kiyoshi?”</p><p> </p><p>Adachi was perhaps a bit too mesmerized by the way shirtless Kurosawa was moving above him, all solid muscle and soft skin, needing a second to register the question. He went even brighter red when he did.</p><p> </p><p>“All the way, if you want?” he answered in a small voice.</p><p> </p><p>Kurosawa, who was in the process of removing his pants, almost tripped sideways. Adachi tightened his legs around Kurosawa to steady him.</p><p> </p><p><em> ‘Wait, really?’ </em> was his happy if a bit incredulous question.</p><p> </p><p>Adachi nodded, too embarrassed to use any words. Kurosawa seemed to take the silence for unease though. He leaned down to give Adachi a quick kiss on his crown. A comfort.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> ‘I know it’s our six-month anniversary but you don’t have to do anything to make me happy. Ever. I’m happy as it is.’ </em>
</p><p> </p><p>And truly, it was sweet of him, to remind Adachi that they’d be fine, even without sex. It wasn’t something that was necessary for them. Kurosawa had, on multiple occasions, made it clear that just having Adachi with him would be more than enough to keep him happy.</p><p> </p><p>But this wasn’t about the necessities of their happiness. This was about something they both wanted, if Adachi could just articulate it. </p><p> </p><p>He tugged Kurosawa a bit lower to reach his lips, pecking it once, twice.</p><p> </p><p>“I know, but— This isn’t only for you. I want this too. Truly,” he whispered. Verbal confirmation, important for Kurosawa. </p><p> </p><p>His love looked contemplative after the admission. Leaning back, he searched Adachi’s face for any sense of a lie, but no— Adachi would never lie to him.</p><p> </p><p>He beamed, his smile a blinding and sharp thing. Without taking his eyes off Adachi, he rid himself of his pants, letting them join the growing pile on the floor. Then he gave Adachi’s—or more accurately, his own—shirt a tug.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> ‘As much as I love seeing you in this— may I?’ </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Adachi nodded, sitting up a little to let the shirt slip free as Kurosawa pulled it over his head. Now only in his underwear, Adachi thought that perhaps this was the part where he might have gotten self-conscious about his body. But Kurosawa was looking at him like he was a feast for the eyes, taking in each part of him with lustful delight, skirting his fingers over his sides, his stomach. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> ‘You’re so soft, Kiyoshi, so lovely.’ </em>
</p><p> </p><p>A heady feeling for sure, to be the center of Kurosawa Kurosawa’s attention.</p><p> </p><p>Shy more than anything, Adachi tugged Kurosawa down by his neck and went in for a kiss. It was both the best decision Adachi ever made and a big miscalculation.</p><p> </p><p>It was one thing to kiss Kurosawa with layers of cloth separating them, and another to do it with none. Skin to skin, Kurosawa felt like a furnace, a very soft yet firm furnace. And the man’s mouth, <em> god </em>, his mouth. Clever and generous as always, but this time there was something more intense about the way it moved.</p><p> </p><p>Or perhaps it was Adachi that was more sensitive, his mind scrambling to catalog all the sensory input and failing.</p><p> </p><p>He really couldn’t control himself at all, trembling and gasping into Kurosawa’s mouth whenever the man bit on his tongue and sucked. Kurosawa enjoyed his reactions if nothing else, starting a mantra of <em> ‘So cute, fuck, so hot too, you sound so sweet, love, cry out louder—’ </em> and gripping his sides hard enough to leave bruises.</p><p> </p><p>Consciously or not, those hands holding Adachi’s waist dragged him up, closer so there was no space left between them. It ended with them chest to chest, their crotches grinding against each other and sending a jolt of pure pleasure down their spines.</p><p> </p><p>They both gasped into the kiss. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> ‘Fuck, Kiyoshi, love—you’re hard, I felt you.’  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Kurosawa’s inner voice sounded like it was in awe.</p><p> </p><p>If Adachi’s ability to talk eloquently didn’t leave for a vacation right then, he would have quipped with something like ‘Well, so are you, and so did I.’ As it was, he could do nothing but buck his hips and lock his legs tighter around Kurosawa, searching for that sweet slide of his dick against Kurosawa’s.</p><p> </p><p>Kurosawa cursed, surprisingly colorfully. The thin fabric of their underwear didn’t do much to lessen the sensation, the slide, and the heat, so Adachi did it again and again.</p><p> </p><p>In response, Kurosawa slammed Adachi down by his waist and moved to untangle the legs that stubbornly held on for so long. Though Adachi was reluctant to let go, he let his legs be guided and opened, so Kurosawa could settle a bit more comfortably between them. Then, holding Adachi still by his waist, he ground down, hard.</p><p> </p><p>The feeling was heavenly, and the sound that Adachi let out was embarrassing.</p><p> </p><p>Kurosawa didn’t seem to think so though, grinding down again and smiling almost triumphantly when Adachi keened.</p><p> </p><p><em> ‘Darling, again?’ </em>he practically purred to his mind.</p><p> </p><p>Adachi almost said yes and let Kurosawa make a mess of their boxers. They were already a bit messy anyway. In his lust addled mind, that was the definition of temptation. But that’d be a waste of all the preparations Adachi made. They could do this later, he consoled himself.</p><p> </p><p>“Underwear, off,” he said at last.</p><p> </p><p>Kurosawa scrambled to obey, quickly ridding himself of his boxers. Adachi wasn’t the slightest bit surprised when Kurosawa turned out to be hung too, his dick thick and heavy. Though he did surprise himself when he found that he wanted to get his mouth on it, just a little.</p><p> </p><p>When Kurosawa hooked his fingers on Adachi’s underwear, the man was slower and gentler in pulling it down, as if he was unwrapping a present. He got confirmation of it when Kurosawa called him the best gift life could offer him.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> ‘God, you’re so beautiful—what did I do to deserve this?’ </em>
</p><p> </p><p>And honestly, this man.</p><p> </p><p>Adachi could do nothing but cradle his love’s beautiful face in his clammy hands and kiss him with all the fervor he could muster. Kurosawa answered in kind, bearing down his weight until all Adachi could feel, see and taste was the man above him.</p><p> </p><p>In a move that was definitely deliberate, Kurosawa canted his hips and smiled against the strangled sound Adachi let out. </p><p> </p><p>Biting said smile in retaliation, Adachi scooted up to avoid the maddening feeling of Kurosawa’s dick rubbing against his. Directly, with nothing between them, the silken and wet drag of it was almost too much.</p><p> </p><p>“You’ll make me come!” he chided breathlessly.</p><p> </p><p>“Wasn’t that the goal, love?” was Kurosawa’s teasing response. He didn’t move anymore though, content to just lay on Adachi and bask in their closeness.</p><p> </p><p>“Not like this,” Adachi bit out, out of the danger zone but still very aware of the way his dick was pressing against Kurosawa’s stomach.</p><p> </p><p>“How then?” asked Kurosawa, now looking very intent.</p><p> </p><p>“There are...things, by the bed. That I want to use.’</p><p> </p><p>Kurosawa’s eyebrows shot up. Adachi did his best to keep a neutral face. He didn’t think he managed though.</p><p> </p><p>His boyfriend shot him a fond look and tipped sideways to grab the things on the floor. The movement dragged his cock across Adachi’s inner thigh, making them both shudder. </p><p> </p><p>Not wanting to start humping for release, Kurosawa leaned back and sat up, putting a little distance between them and looking at what Adachi got then. A bottle of lube and a condom box of varying sizes.</p><p> </p><p>His eyes swiveled back to Adachi, who was seriously considering hiding his face with a pillow by now.</p><p> </p><p>“You never did answer me, love,” Kurosawa said, voice low and hungry. </p><p> </p><p>“How do you want to come?”</p><p> </p><p>Adachi would really like to be spared of this question, please. But, he reminded himself, verbal confirmation, consent, important. Kurosawa would never do anything drastic without Adachi’s direct say so.</p><p> </p><p>“I want you to fuck me,” was what Adachi managed, so quiet it was no more than a whisper.</p><p> </p><p>Kurosawa heard him loud and clear though, so attuned he was to his voice. Adachi got the distinct feeling that the man memorized the moment and filed it away in his mind for later use.</p><p> </p><p>Then he patted Adachi on his sides comfortingly, easing his tenseness.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you sure?” A patent question for Kurosawa.</p><p> </p><p>Adachi nodded empathetically, earning himself a fond and ravenous look. He watched with nervousness as Kurosawa uncapped the bottle of lube and squeezed out a generous amount on one hand. He rubbed the oily substance with his fingers to warm it up. </p><p> </p><p>Adachi noted the method. It was surprisingly cold when he had tried the lube the first time, he remembered.</p><p> </p><p>With his other hand, Kurosawa pulled one of Adachi’s legs over his hips, just so that Adachi had to arch his back to settle, and put a pillow under him. Now, this was the part where Adachi truly felt exposed and hid his red face in the sheets. </p><p> </p><p>He went most of his life without sparing his lower parts a single thought beyond hygiene, and here was his boyfriend inspecting them with growing delight and lust. It was both arousing and embarrassing.</p><p> </p><p>Arousal won out in the end when Kurosawa got a hand on Adachi’s dick. The feeling wasn’t as intense as having another dick alongside it, but it was still very nice. Kurosawa’s hands were a bit calloused, a bit hot, and very gentle in their exploration.</p><p> </p><p>Tugging, stroking, tracing the shape of Adachi’s dick like it was his next most favorite thing. It wasn’t as thick as Kurosawa’s but it was just as long, perhaps even longer.</p><p> </p><p><em> ‘Pretty, like the rest of you,’ </em> he commented.</p><p> </p><p>Adachi made a valiant effort to suffocate himself with the sheets. Kurosawa laughed, leaning over to pepper his burning cheeks with kisses.</p><p> </p><p>Distracted by those sweet kisses and gentle touches, Adachi almost jumped when he felt Kurosawa’s fingers graze his entrance. The man didn’t rush, just massaging the rim and lighting up the nerves there.</p><p> </p><p>Adachi moaned, loudly, and promptly tried to stifle further noises by biting the sheets.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> ‘Please, don’t hide your voice, your face, they’re lovely.’ </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> ‘I need to know how I’m doing too. If you’re enjoying this.’ </em>
</p><p> </p><p>At the latter, Adachi reluctantly let go of the sheets and made himself face Kurosawa. The man smiled charmingly at him and dove in for a deep kiss. This at least Adachi could handle happily.</p><p> </p><p>While Adachi was melting into the kiss, Kurosawa inched in a finger. It went in surprisingly easily, breaching Adachi with almost no effort at all. Kurosawa tried putting in the second finger, and it was almost the same story.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> ‘So loose? Anything you want to tell me, Kiyoshi?’ </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> ‘You prepared so much—did you prepare yourself too?’ </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Adachi whined into the kiss.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> ‘God, that’s so hot, you have to let me watch next time, okay?’ </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Adachi didn’t answer this time, canting his hips to try and take the fingers deeper. It felt mostly weird when he did it by himself, but with the warmth and comfort of his love next to him, he was finding the experience increasingly more pleasant. </p><p> </p><p>Kurosawa didn’t let him work hard, driving his fingers deeper and scissoring. He added the third finger soon enough, well and truly stretching Adachi, making sparks of pleasure shoot up his spine. Then Kurosawa hooked his fingers inside Adachi and thumbed gently at the sensitive skin of his balls. Adachi swore that he blacked out for a second.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> ‘Ah, there we go.’ </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Kurosawa’s hands withdrew, and Adachi almost protested until he heard the distinct sound of something tearing. He looked down and watched with bated breath as Kurosawa rolled on the condom with practiced ease and slicked himself up with more lube.</p><p> </p><p>Kurosawa looked unfairly hot with his hand on the base of his dick. And kind of scary, to be honest.</p><p> </p><p>The man read the unease in Adachi's expression almost immediately, leaning down to kiss him once, twice, whispering reassurances against his lips.</p><p> </p><p>“If it’s too much just tell me, okay? We’ll stop.”</p><p> </p><p>Adachi nodded, bunching the sheets under his hands and trying to let go of his nervousness. Kurosawa showered his face and neck in little kisses and gentle bites, relaxing Adachi enough that he didn’t jump at the way Kurosawa’s cock, much much bigger than three fingers, nudged his entrance.</p><p> </p><p>The initial penetration was difficult but manageable with Kurosawa’s constant stream of sweet words, sweet touches, and instructions to <em> ‘Breathe, sweetheart, breathe.’  </em></p><p> </p><p>Once the man got his hands on Adachi’s dick and set a steady pace of stroking, the stretch was almost okay. It burned, just on this side of not painful but still weird, definitely weird. Adachi felt full, almost too much so, and Kurosawa just kept filling him more, his dick working its way deeper in painfully slow increments.</p><p> </p><p>At some point, Kurosawa’s reminder to breathe wasn’t only for Adachi.</p><p> </p><p>Once Kurosawa’s hips were pressed against Adachi’s, they each took a moment to compose themselves, albeit for different reasons. After the alien feeling of the intrusion passed, Adachi could say that he was fine, that he could breathe around the fullness. The same could not be said for Kurosawa.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> ‘You feel so good, Kiyoshi, gripping me so tight, fuck, fuck, fuck—’ </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Adachi reached out to cradle his boyfriend’s flushed face and run his fingers through his damp hair. Kurosawa leaned into the pampering touch like a lost man.</p><p> </p><p>Then, to ease the tension on his back, Adachi adjusted his hips a little and hooked both his thighs around Kurosawa’s waist for a position that felt more comfortable. They both shuddered at the movement, and Kurosawa just barely stopped himself from bucking.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> ‘Kiyoshi, love, have mercy, don’t move unless you’re letting me move too.’ </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“You can, you can,” whispered Adachi, pecking his boyfriend on his forehead.</p><p> </p><p>Kurosawa didn’t wait for a second longer, flexing his hips almost immediately. The move had Adachi gasping and throwing his hands around Kurosawa’s shoulders, leaving little to no space between their heated bodies. Kurosawa sighed in something like pure bliss, then he was shifting to brace himself on his elbows and withdrawing.</p><p> </p><p>The first thrust was shallow and careful. Adachi arched into it, all the same, bucking his hips to encourage Kurosawa. The next few were deeper and firmer, punching the breath out of Adachi in tiny gasps and building up to something pleasant slowly but steadily. </p><p> </p><p>Kurosawa settled on a pace that was neither too slow or too fast, wanting to savor his love, his silken hot grip, his sweet melodic voice, and crumble Adachi’s ability to form a rational thought. He was very successful too, once he found a spot inside Adachi that marked a jolt of intense pleasure, his hole tightening around Kurosawa’s impossible girth.</p><p> </p><p>By this point, the feeling of weirdness had long since fled Adachi’s mind, leaving room for nothing but pleasure, heat, and <em> Yuichi </em> , above him, around him, <em> inside him </em> , physically, mentally. His dick opening him up in a way no one had done before, his inner voice praising him non-stop for <em> feeling so good, so great, so wonderful. </em></p><p> </p><p>Almost unconsciously, Adachi started bucking his hips, craving even more closeness and wanting some kind of pressure on his groin. The feeling of Kurosawa’s stomach against his dick was wonderful, truly, but it wasn’t enough. He tried to let go of Kurosawa and use his hand to jerk off. Kurosawa didn’t let him though, putting the hand back where it belonged, right around his neck.</p><p> </p><p>Adachi whined in protest, and the man above him chuckled breathlessly. </p><p> </p><p><em> ‘I’ll take care of you, love,’ </em> he whispered in his mind and started stroking Adachi with his own hand instead. </p><p> </p><p>It didn’t take long for Adachi to come. A few masterful tugs and a few grinding thrusts, and Adachi was covering his and Kurosawa’s stomach in ropes of cum, going pliant and slack-jawed. Kurosawa watched Adachi with the focus of a man catching a glimpse of heaven. </p><p> </p><p>When Adachi was catching his breath, Kurosawa tried to pull out gently. The almost comatose man made a noise of protest and locked his boyfriend in his thighs’ weak grip. </p><p> </p><p>“Keep going,” he told Kurosawa, who blinked down at him in clear surprise.</p><p> </p><p>“Won’t it be too much?” asked Kurosawa. <em> Won’t I be too much </em>? </p><p> </p><p>“Take what you want, love,” said Adachi and gently pulled Kurosawa into his embrace, kissing him softly.</p><p> </p><p>There was a moment of silence, then the man was kissing him back, deeply and bruisingly, and rocking his hips, gently at first, sporadically at last. Adachi just hummed, skirting his fingers across Kurosawa’s flexing back muscles, damp with sweat. </p><p> </p><p>Just when Adachi was getting oversensitive and whining low in his throat, Kurosawa came, his hips spasming in a few jerky thrusts. The man collapsed immediately after, barely managing to pull out and throw away the condom. Adachi hugged Kurosawa close and kissed him on his crown.</p><p> </p><p>“We should really clean up,” croaked out Kurosawa and didn’t move an inch.</p><p> </p><p>“We definitely should, we’re so sticky,” answered Adachi and tightened his arms around Kurosawa.</p><p> </p><p>Kurosawa chuckled, low and satisfied and happy, and nosed at Adachi’s neck. Then he shifted to the side so he was lying next to his boyfriend instead of on him and pulled his arms around Adachi. <em> Post-sex cuddling, off the list, </em> was Adachi’s vague distant thought.</p><p> </p><p>“What list?” asked Kurosawa, because apparently, sex made Adachi loose-tongued. Interesting to note.</p><p> </p><p>“Just a list of things couples do. I want to try them all,” he answered.</p><p> </p><p>There was silence, so Adachi assumed that Kurosawa fell asleep. He squirmed out of his boyfriend’s grip and barely managed to get off the bed. His legs had fallen asleep and he was sore in places he never was before.</p><p> </p><p>He briefly considered cleaning up himself and Kurosawa, but really, he had no will and no energy. He just turned off the lights and got a blanket he wouldn’t have too much trouble washing and covered Kurosawa with it. Then he ducked under the covers himself and settled in for the night.</p><p> </p><p>Sleeping naked together, off the list too.</p><p> </p><p>Just when Adachi was about to fall asleep, he heard a quiet whisper from Kurosawa’s side of the bed.</p><p> </p><p>“Is marriage on the list?”</p><p> </p><p>Adachi smiled tiredly and whispered back, “Of course.”</p><p> </p><p>Stars in a box, he promised.</p>
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